The Reverend Dan Rather

Bob Lee, station manager for WDBJ in Richmond, Virginia, says he's never seen anything like it. Angry viewers sent 1,000 phone calls, E-mails, and letters his way after CBS News apologized for a "60 Minutes" broadcast which used discredited documents.

"It's damaging," says Jeff Fager, executive producer of "60 Minutes."
"I'd be very surprised if heads didn't roll," says Alex Jones, director of Harvard's Shorenstein Center.
"Rather is wearing a scarlet letter," says Bob Steele of The Poynter Institute.

Ratings for the CBS Evening News, already low, hit a nadir point. Viewers fled the nightly program in droves. The reason: telling for true a report based on papers nobody could authenticate. Simple as that. The result? "60 Minute's" ticking clock has Mickey Mouse hands as Dan Rather becomes grist for late-night comedic mills. Society's jokesters are having a field day.

Whereas, most likely the evangelical church will also come down hard on Dan Rather and be among those voices calling for his retirement in disgrace from the tube, this might be a good time to extract the beam in our ecclesiastical eye before criticizing the splinter in CBS's.

On any given day, Sunday or otherwise, the most ridiculous twaddle parades as truth from both auditorium and television pulpits. Electronic and real-live reverends dispense nonsense by the bucketsful in the form of stories (inspirational and otherwise) told as gospel fact. TV preachers and pulpiteers disgorge more blathering per square inch than carnival barkers huckerstering customers to come see Goat Man. From empty heads in the pulpit, to gullible minds in the pews and dens across America and around the world, preachers are filling the troughs with the pretend water of "true" stories.

These stories range from the simply silly to downright character assassination. In the simply silly category our own Rev. Dan Rathers breathlessly report the astounding news that Russian engineers have not only drilled their way into hell, but have the tape recorded screams of the damned to prove it.

In a story with no names and no locations, preachers report that hostile natives (somewhere) size up and flee from missionaries because they see 26 (or whatever the changing number is) angelic creatures standing behind them. When the missionaries return to their (unnamed) church (somewhere) in America, they report their story and learn that at the very same hour the hostiles were fleeing, exactly 26 (or whatever the number is) church members were at prayer meeting praying for them.

Respected Christian magazines, et al. report of NASA scientists who can't figure out a time line until one of their number (unnamed) shows up with his Old Testament to turn to Joshua's long day and solve the computer problem. The simply silly abounds.

In an effort to build up one candidate at the expense of another, we read and circulate the story of how President Bush took time from an important dinner, a fundraiser, or whatever, to spend 30 minutes witnessing for Christ to a teenager. The Internet circulates that falsehood around the world.

More sinister are those stories intended to kill a person's character. Making its rounds on the evangelical Internet is the story that Senator John Kerry, when asked his favorite Bible verse, said, "John 16:3," thus making it obvious that he and the Bible don't know each other. However, the same story surfaced about Vice President Al Gore four years ago. With a joyous click of our mouse, we send it on.

Mike Warnke, "Christian comedian," travels the country and empties the pockets of Christians in packed auditoriums so that he can fight the cult of Satan from which he came. Yet, upon examination, we find that his claims to be in certain places with certain devil worshippers don't check out. He drops off the circuit (with our money).

The FCC has to mail letters to pastors all over the place because of bazillions of petitions from scared Christians who have been told that Madeline Murray O'Hare has gotten a bill before the U. S. House of Representatives to throw all preachers off the airwaves. (From what we're hearing from some preachers, this might not be such a bad idea.) The FCC asks pastors to tell people to cease and desist; it's all an elaborate hoax some one dreamed up. It resurfaces every few years.

Proctor and Gamble holds executive meetings to stem the rising tide of a Christian boycott because, as the story goes, "The president of the company is a Satan worshipper who said so on a national talk show." Nobody in the church seems to notice that the name of the talk show changes in the story. Not only that, but we're told that its logo is straight from the pit. After sustaining huge economic damage from this story, P & G finally tracked down and prosecuted the originators of the story (who turned out to be two sales people, a husband and wife, from the competition). Score one for P & G.

Such stories find willing minds, because, for some unfathomable reason, Christians love conspiracy theories. (Although the Bible does speak of a vast conspiracy-II Cor. 4:4-P & G seems more fun to fight.)

But there's a big price to pay-the church loses its credibility, and once lost, it's hard to get it back. The person in the pew wonders what's true and what isn't. If we tell him about the (unnamed) blind father of the (unnamed) football player from the (unnamed) high school, who goes to heaven and finally gets to see his son play what the coach calls the best game of his life, if we tell him of our tapes from the pit, and our special NASA scientist with our Bible and he learns that those are all a hoax, then won't he wonder if the gospel is a hoax also?

Peter said, "We have not followed cunningly devises fables," yet we find the church not only buying into the Christian urban legends of our day, not only clicking the mouse and sending them on, but also making them up.

Watch out for stories with no names, no locations, and no dates. Most, by their very nature aren't verifiable. If we can't verify them, we shouldn't pass them on.

The Rev
. Dan Rathers are out there dispensing inspirational and conspiratorial twaddle. Our ears shouldn't itch to hear them.

Dr. Mike Halsey, Pastor

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