The Murder of Jerry Cisco - Part II

I've put down my new Bible and I've opened blue-eyed Jenny's hand-passed, tightly folded note that has gone from one teen-aged hand to the next down the pew during one of Brother Akers's marathon sermons.  Once again "carnival sins" have him ablaze with his seasonable righteous indignation.  My eyes devour Jenny's words because I didn't think Jenny knew I existed.  She's written it at some point during Brother Akers's sermon: "I'm having a terrible time; do you think after church you could help me with the algebra assignment?  My book's in the car; it'll only take a minute." 

I'm crushed; I guess I'll help her, but I think she's just using me.  I'm good in algebra and even better in English class; sometimes people ask me for help, but most really don't want to be my friend.  They just want to use me too, like Jenny's doing. 

Brother Akers is coming to his usual conclusion; it's always the same.  He starts to beg us to give our hearts to Jesus so we don't go to hell.  Only Brother Akers calls it, "Hail."  (I think Brother Akers came to us from somewhere in Texas, because I'm told that's the way they all talk down there.)  But we know what he means.  He tells us, "If you'll just turn from your sins, if you'll just give your lives to Jesus, if you'll just be willing to surrender to Jesus, if you'll just commit your lives to Jesus, and if you'll love Jesus with all your heart, mind, and soul, you won't wind up in Hail."  Brother Akers ought to know about such things; I think he reads the Bible all the time.

We leave church after the benediction resurrects many a soul from their sweet Sunday slumber.  To save money, we never eat out Sunday or on any other day, for that matter; Dad says it's a waste of good money, so we're on our way home. 
In the car, I ask my mother about those things I'd been reading in John.  At first she wants to know why I wasn't listening to Brother Akers, but she drops that pretty soon because she knows it's really hard to listen to him; she even has a hard time concentrating too and once I heard her tell Dad she did. 

I wanted to know why John 3:16 says, "Whosoever believes in Jesus has everlasting life," and Brother Akers says more than that.  I told her that the last time I counted, Brother Akers had at least nine things for us to do to go to heaven and none of them were "believe" or they were in addition to "believe."  I told her that I didn't know if I was committed enough like Brother Akers said, if I'd surrendered enough to Jesus, like he said, so I don't know if I'm going to heaven or "hail," and I'm worried about all this.  None of us can be happy if we're uncertain about important things.  We're built to be certain.  (Mother didn't like my imitation of Brother Akers and his accent and told me not to do that anymore.)  So I got more serious and told her that sometimes Brother Akers scares me.

Since I'm good in English, I tell my mother that I've noticed something and it doesn't make sense.  I read in John 1:12 that ". . . to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become the children of God."  She told me she was well aware of that verse and didn't see what I was so confused about.

I tell her that something's wrong when we read that and then listen to what Brother Akers says Sunday after Sunday.  One thing I've always liked about my mother is that she listens to me and let's me have my say.  She doesn't believe in that idea, "Children should be seen and not heard." 

Dad's bringing the car close to home and there's a rattle in our relic of an engine that I know he's worried about, but I keep talking.

I tell my mother why I'm confused-Brother Akers keeps telling us to "give."  He keeps saying, "Give your heart, give your life, give your will, give your love to Jesus and then He'll save you."  But that's not what I'm reading in John.  I'm reading we're to "receive" not "give."  I'm reading "believe," which looks like a synonym for "receive." 

I ask my mother, "Aren't those two opposite words?  Which is it?  Am I the giver or is God the giver?  Am I the receiver of His gift of salvation or is God the receiver of my works of commitment, love, and surrender?  It looks to me like salvation is a gift I receive from God by faith in Christ.  But I don't know what to believe.  Do I give or do I receive?  They can't both mean the same thing because the words are opposites."

Dad has a frown on his face, but it's not because of me; it's the engine again, but we're home and we're hungry, so we go in to eat whatever it is my grandmother put in the oven the night before because she was raised that you don't cook on the Sabbath. 

After dinner, my mother, who has always been patient with me when Dad isn't, says that I have a point and from what I've just said, she admits that she's confused too.  Something's wrong.  She suggests that we both go talk to Brother Akers and he'll be able to clear it up.

She phones his house, but his wife tells her that he's watching NASCAR, but he'll be sure and call back later.  We get the idea that she's afraid to interrupt something so important to Brother Akers. 

Three hours later, Brother Akers calls and we set Wednesday at ten to talk to him.  When the day comes, we enter the church building, go through the auditorium, take the hall to the right and head to his office.  My mother knocks on the door and he tells us to come in. 

It's a nice office; neat and clean.  We sit down in two nice leather chairs and I notice the walls are lined with all kinds of books.  I look down at his desk and notice the latest issues of "Golf Digest" and "NASCAR World."  As I look over the shelves of books, I see that many are books of sermon outlines and written sermons.  I wonder if Brother Akers has lifted many a sermon from those books.  I wonder if this gives him more time to watch NASCAR.  But no matter; we have more important fish to fry.

Brother Akers puts the two magazines in the center drawer of his large desk, smiles. and asks my mother, "What's on your mind today?  Anything I can help you with?" 

Dr. Mike Halsey, Pastor
County Line Church