My mother and I are in Brother Akers's office; its clean, neat appearance gives the room an efficient look.  We're here because we're confused.  When Brother Akers asks, "What can I do for you?" I shuffle my weight in the high-backed, comfortable, black leather chair as my mother, sitting in another leather chair to my left, leans forward towards Brother Akers and begins.

"We're here because, to be honest, we don't understand what's going on and hoped that maybe you could clear something up for us."  My mother has always had a knack of getting to the point.

"Well, let's see if maybe I can help.  What's the problem?" our pastor asks.

"We're hearing all kinds of things and they all have to do with being saved or getting to heaven.  One Sunday, we hear, 'Give your heart to Jesus;' the next Sunday, we hear, 'Confess Christ before men;' seven days later, you say, "Confess your sins to God.' 

"Then, too many times to count, I've heard you say that we're supposed to give up the carnival part of the county fair, movies, playing bingo, and smoking.  I can't keep up with all these things I'm supposed to do and give up.  But I guess the big moment came when you asked in a sermon, "What must we pay to become a Christian?"  Then you said, "The minimum amount to pay is to believe everything and the minimum amount I was to do is all."  You said, "You must not hold back a fraction of a percent of yourself."  Then you said, "You have to abandon every sin and repudiate every false thought.'*

"But my son pointed out something I'm ashamed I haven't thought of before.  He asked me why John 3:16 doesn't say all that.  He asked me why all of that isn't mentioned in John 6:40 or John 11:25-27.  If all those things you're saying are how we get to heaven, why don't those sentences say that? 

"And why, as my son pointed out, does Jesus never tell that immoral hussy in John 4 to stop her immoral life, if that's the way to be saved?  In fact, He never told her to do anything.  Don't all those other sentences say we're supposed to 'believe' not 'do' or pay.'  You've mentioned that heaven is a gift; but how can it be a gift if I have to pay for it?  I don't get it."

I looked up at Brother Akers who was moving toward his bookshelf and ransacking it, looking for a book.  When he did, he opened it and started to read from it. 

"Listen to this. This is written by a pastor on how to be saved and he's got 20,000 people who jam his church every weekend: 'Believe God loves you and made you for Himself.  Believe that you're not an accident.  Believe that you were made to last forever.  Believe God has chosen you for a relationship with Jesus who died on the cross for you.  Believe that no matter what you've done, God wants to forgive you.  Receive Jesus into your life as Savior and Lord.  Receive His forgiveness of sins.  Receive His Holy Spirit who will give you power to fulfill you life.'**  Every Sunday, he asks people to fill out a commitment card 'to commit their lives to Jesus,' and every week, praise the Lord, hundreds do.

"Are you and your son saying he's wrong?  He's got 20,000 people coming every week." 

I chimed in and said, "Islam has a billion people; are they right?  That's way more than his 20,000.  Besides, from what I've read in John, committing your life to follow Jesus wouldn't save anyone, cult members do that.  People in the cults even believe that Jesus died for their sins."

Brother Akers turned toward me and changing the subject, asked, "What about that Jerry Cisco incident?"  His eyes were flashing now, the way I'd seen them flash when he came down to the carnival and started denouncing everybody there as hypocrites, sinners, and something called "winebibbers," whatever that is.

"From where I sit, I think you did see Jerry Cisco get beaten to death that day at the fair.  I think you saw it and I think you lied to the deputy when you said you didn't.  You'd better confess that sin of lying boy, or you're going to hail!"

Brother Akers may not have made many mistakes in his life, but he sure made one that day.  My mother,

who'd always been known as a good Christian woman in these parts and a God-fearing middle-aged lady, jumped out of her leather chair, grabbed me by the arm and launched a verbal assault worthy of D-Day.

"Don't you ever call my son a liar and don't you ever say that he's going, as you say, to 'hail!'  (What my mother didn't know was that on that score, Brother Akers was right; I had seen the murder and I had lied to the deputy, but we could take that up later, since I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie for another time.)

She was just warming up.  "From what you've just read, now there are more things I've got to believe and do.  It never stops with you.  Where in the world do all those sentences in John talk about "not believing you're an accident?"  Where in the Bible does it say that you have to believe that you're made to last, whatever that means?  And, good night nurse, where in the Sam Hill do those verses ever talk about signing a commitment card to follow Christ? 

"If 20,000 people come to hear it, does that mean it's right, if it's not in the Bible?  Is the gospel decided by a majority vote?  If it is, then the gospel is wrong because the rest of the world would out-vote us.  That whole "majority-is-right approach" is stupid and you're stupid.

(That was my mother's one mistake.  No matter the white-hot heat of the moment, she shouldn't have gone and called him stupid.  She told me so later, saying that she'd written Brother Akers a letter of apology, asking his forgiveness, but she also told him in the letter that whatever else she said was like truth written on a rock.)

She had one last salvo, which she fired as she was taking herself and me with her to the door.  "All this commitment, all this 'do.' Do this; do that; give up this; stop that.  You know what you make me want to do?  You make me want to quit, Brother Akers, Quit it all.  How many false thoughts do I have to repudiate; how many sins do I have to abandon.  All?  You and I know that's impossible and if I were to ask your wife if you've gone done this abandoning and repudiating, she'd fall on the floor laughing at such a stupid idea. *** 

"How much more do I have to do, Brother Akers?  How many more things are you going to add to the already monster list next Sunday?  Your list is like Godzilla.  It's huge.  I've got no peace, no assurance, and no joy.  You've killed it, one sermon at a time.  Quitting may just be the best thing I've ever done."

She and I are out in the hallway now  and Brother Akers is standing stunned at his office door, when she says, "That's it, Brother Akers. That's it.  Talking to you has made me realize that all it's ever been around this church is work, work, and more work.  More lists, more ‘give-up-this-and-don't-do-that.’  I'm sick of it.  As a matter of fact, I'm exhausted.  I read about rest, peace, and joy in the Bible, but, you know, I don't have it." 

"I swear, every time I listen to you, I'm scared out of my mind I'm not going to heaven.  Some nights, I can't sleep; you've got me so worried.  I've never said it, but down deep inside, I've felt it.  Some thing's wrong, Brother Akers.  Something is very wrong."

Brother Akers didn't know what to say, but what he did say, he shouldn't have:  "Does this mean you're not bringing a pie to the church social this Saturday?" 

With that, we're storming out of the building and into the car.  Mother rams the key into the ignition hard enough to knock the steering wheel into the car door.  The engine starts; she guns the car out of the parking lot like rocket.  It would have been a quick drive home, except that a policeman pulled us over to give my mother her first ticket. 

When we get back to the house, my mother says, "I don't know what we're going to do, but I can't take the work, work, work any longer.  I'm telling you right now, we're going to find it.  I don't know what 'it' is, but we're going to find it.  All I know right now is, Brother Akers doesn't have a clue.  Now, what about you and Jerry Cisco?"  

Dr. Mike Halsey, Pastor

*Actual "gospel" presentation by nationally known author, pastor, and radio speaker on the East Coast.
** Another actual "gospel" presentation by a popular pastor and author.
*** I John 1:5-10